2. Before you begin your search for the love of your life, make sure you know and love yourself. Be comfortable with who you are.

3. Learn how to be happy on your own. No person can make you happy ~You are responsible for your own happiness. This way you will not appear needy on dates. In a survey of Singles, 94% said that having a needy partner was grounds for a breakup. Give that up to the Lord.

4. The next time you feel sorry for yourself remember that there are over 80 million singles on the planet. God is preparing one of them for you so be ready in and out of season.

5. Speaking of being ready~ Get yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically ready for that mate God is preparing for you in His perfect timing. Don’t wait, do something to get ready today.

6. Practice common sense by dating people who fit into your dating profile. Make sure they are equally yoked in all areas of your life. Never waste time with people who are spiritually wrong for you. You don’t want to be a statistic of 71% divorce rate among Christians.

7. Keep in mind it is healthier for you to be alone than to be with someone who does not treat you well. Don’t even accept a date from someone who would disrespect you or others. Too many people settle for less than they deserve. Expect God’s best and wait for His best! His perfect will. Never, never settle for his permissive will.

8. How do you feel when you are with someone you’re dating? It’s more important than how they make you feel. Are you able to be yourself? Or are you trying to be someone thinking it will make them happy?

9. Conversation should be two-sided. Don’t be afraid to speak up and share but don’t forget to stop and listen. It’s why we have 2 ears and one mouth.

10. Give people space~ let your date have a life outside of his or her time with you. It is better to be two complete people that comment each other than needing someone to fill in your holes. Always put God first and spend quality time with the Lord so He can bless your relationship.

This got me to thinking about my relationships.

I have friends who I’ve known for over 25 years. You could say I know them pretty well, and sometimes I catch myself saying, “Oh I know how they’ll react in such-and-such a situation.” I came to the realization of how this mode of thinking really discounts people and puts them into a box. Not only that, it also puts an expectation on them from me to show up a certain way. And when they don’t, I get angry, frustrated, and disappointed. How arrogant of me to think that what is today will be the same tomorrow? And how foolish of me to think that people – my loved ones are static life forms stuck in one way being?

One thing that shifted my thinking in this was to go to those people I’ve known for the longest time and learn 3 new things about them I didn’t know before. Try it- it’ll change your relationship.

My thought and prayer for you this month is to go at your relationships (dating, friends or otherwise) as if it was the first time you were meeting them. Be a generous listener and ask questions. You’ll be surprised at the results!

May is here, and it’s definitely feeling like spring. The flowers I planted last month are just starting to bloom. It doesn’t happen overnight, even though I have been watering and watching them daily. Patience is needed during this period, but it seems it’s the same as with Relationships; we want it to happen overnight. However there is a process and it’s all in God’s timing.

I am encouraging Singles this month to pray that God will show you what your gifts and talents are, and get the vision of what God wants you to do with them. In the process you may find the Love of your life. Take that step of faith and get ready, God is about to do something!

In His service,

2. Sort out your confidence levels in advance before you start the dating process. Don’t hold onto your past and remember who you are in Christ.

3. Be realistic about who you are interested in dating. Remember to always date people who are Equally Yoked with you in three areas, Spiritually, Physically and Mentally.

4. When getting to know someone on the phone that you haven’t met, ask lots of questions. Don’t take everything at face value and DO NOT provide your home or work address to someone you have not yet met.

5. Do not drink on the first date. It will lower your inhibitions and you may do or say something not characteristic to your personality and you will pay later.

6. Talk less and listen more. You can find out what a persons heart is all about by hearing what they are saying. This will help you to determine if they are worth spending more time with in the future.

7. Give up Smoking. 95% of people who don’t smoke say they are not interested in dating someone who does. This is the # 1 Deal Breaker for Non -Smokers.

8. Always make good eye contact, its a sign your interested in who you are with. If your looking around the room or at the ceiling, its shows a definite lack of interest.

9. Don’t get attached to the outcome. Go slow, stop thinking of what it could be when you first get involved with a potential match. This is the demise of many healthy relationships which could have turned out to be a good thing.

10. Women- Let men know what you want and need in a relationship. They cannot read your mind. If you want to go to a certain event or place, tell him. Men only want to make us happy. Be sure to also tell him how much you appreciate it when he does something nice for you.

I also find it ironic that Spring Fever coincides with that other dreaded disease that plagues most adults Spring Cleaning. You know what I’m talking about that unstoppable urge to clean out the garage or closet that’s been gathering junk for the last year? Why do those two things seem to happen at exactly the same time? It seems like a cruel joke.

Or maybe it’s an invitation for something bigger.

I think for each of us, Spring Cleaning needs to happen. No, I’m not talking about getting rid of the old pizza boxes in the living room before your date arrives; I’m talking about “cleaning” the “closet” of your life. I’m talking about clearing out all of the junk that impedes you from being the incredible person God designed you to be. You know that thoughts can lead to actions? I think it’s time to clean house on some of the thoughts we have about ourselves that can keep us stuck and negatively impact our relationships.

I know in my own life, I had to throw out some old “clothes,” or judgments about myself because they impacted how I was with people, as well as the opposite sex. Like a favorite tattered old T-shirt, I kept some of these thoughts around because they were comfortable, and easy to wear. My personal favorite was “I’m too fat, and have nothing to offer people.” Now, reality was telling me that wasn’t true, as I have a great wife who loves me, awesome friends who’ve been with me for over 25 years, as well as people I didn’t know telling me how talented I was. You see, it was easier to “wear the old shirt,” than try on the possibility of living in a new and different “shirt.”

In regards to cleaning out the closet of your life, here are a couple of things you can throw out right off the bat: Attitudes, stories and judgments you make up about yourself (I’m not good or spiritual enough, It’s just the way I am, I can’t change, why would anyone want to be with me?), judgments about other people (I don’t like them because they are different from me, they’ve always been that way, they are too good for me.).

Yep, you can kick those right to the curb, because they just aren’t true.

What if today, you “tried on” getting off of yourself, and seeing yourself as God and others see you? What kind of possibilities would that open up? How would you go about your life if you knew you couldn’t fail? What if today, you embraced how God sees you rather than your own made up story? The funny part about this kind of Spring Cleaning is it actually gives you a brand new mental “wardrobe” or attitude. You have an opportunity to feel better about yourself, which in turn changes how you are in relationships.

This is my prayer for you during the month of April, that you throw out the “old clothes” and try on a new Spring outfit and see how that impacts your search for the Love of your life. And that’s no April Fools.

It’s spring already, my favorite time of year. I always become energized and excited to see what God is about to do during this season.

Each spring I plant a new garden of flowers and watch the miracle of watching them bloom. I liken it to relationships. They both take time to grow as the sun exudes its light to cause beautiful things to happen in this process.

I have noticed when I become impatient and want to see the fruits of my labor right now, I tend to spend too much time watering the ground and the flowers wilt and die. However, when I keep my eyes to the one who can bring it to fruition then the garden of my life begins to grow and blossom as the Lord sees fit in His timing.

Let’s keep our eyes on the Giver and not the gift and see what God will do for us this spring.

Oh yes. . . and just maybe your flower garden will grow too!

In His service,

(Written in Imagery Ministry Class 2003)

I came to know the Lord in May 1980 at the age of 21. This is my story.

May 1980

It had been 21 years since my garden had been planted and left unattended for nearly the duration of its life.

I entered into my garden on a sunny day in May. In the midst of all the quiet, I found this large field, partly overgrown and the rest dead for it thirsted for water. The soil was hard as a rock.

I looked toward the sun and found Jesus standing in the weeds calling my name. I fell to my knees and could feel the sharp rocks tearing my flesh. In pain, I cried on the name of the Lord and He lifted me up from my despair.

We walked together hand in hand to the edge of my ugly, un-kept garden. As I looked around, I saw a beautiful healthy field close to mine. I said, Lord Can I have that garden? It’s so lovely and mine is hopeless. He answered and said, “That belongs to another and at one time looked even worse than yours”. The owner has worked many hard years enduring pain and many tears taking out the dead weeds and replacing them with living vines. I asked how something so beautiful could have looked even worse than my garden of iniquity. The Lord told me that if I tilled and watered the plants and soil every day, with His help we could have a finished product so beautiful and I would see that it is good. It will be unrecognizable to anyone who passes through my garden of life.

Eight years past. I spent every day on my knees working on my garden, taking out several kinds of weeds, singing and fellowshipping with God. The weeds had different names, pain, anger, resentment, abuse, alcohol, drugs and fornication. That was just the beginning. My garden was looking pretty good, so I thought.

One day a man came to visit me in my garden. He told me how beautiful it was and said so many things I longed to hear. He was not like Jesus, as he seemed so worldly.

Nevertheless, I believed him when he said he loved me and wanted to help me with my garden. I soon found that this was not a long term commitment. I took my eyes off Jesus and my garden for just a year. However, during that time many weeds sprouted where flowers of purity had grown. I tried to replant purity, but it was too late.

I learned it would never grow again in my garden.

Spending nine months with pain, sickness and despair my garden was once again left unattended. My communication with the Lord was scarce during these months. The outcome however was an unexpected Blessing from God. He told me that I would help someone who would become one of the most special people in my life. I would plant a garden for him and tend to it for the first 18 years. We named this one, the Garden of Britain. (my son)

Eventually I went back to my own garden. Many weeds had sprung up, guilt insecurity, hopelessness, abandonment and poverty. Some old ones came back too, pain, hurt and anger. Another nine years passed before I could get rid of those weeds. The one called guilt was the hardest to uproot. So many people tried to convince me that it would never go away.

One day as I was on my knees planting flowers, the Lord visited me. He said, if I were to let Him help me with my garden, he would be able to pluck that weed of guilt right from the ground and it would never return. The Lord said to replace it with flowers of Faith, Hope, Love and Peace. Please Lord, take that guilt away, I have not seen any weeds of guilt or insecurity since that day many years ago.

It has been 34 years since I first met Jesus in my garden. Now I stand outside the place I found was unacceptable and unpleasant, it’s beautiful with the exception of a few weeds that creep up every so often which I call challenges. There is one weed it seems I am always plucking from the ground, impatience.

It’s rare when I find weeds I had in the past. My garden breeds Peace, Contentment, Purity, Faith, Hope and Love.

On that first day, God promised me that He would help me to make my garden as beautiful as gold if I worked hard. I am still working on it and The Lord is right next to me as I am on my knees. Now the soil has softened and I no longer cry out in pain.

By the way, The Garden of Britain is about 24 years old now and it’s looking pretty good. Vines of Wisdom, Faith and Strength are growing like wildfire. The most loveliest of all is the Garden of Monica (his wife) as they work hand in hand together in their Gardens daily, serving God.

Praise the Lord for His promises.

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD

In His Service,

1. Ladies… Let the men take the lead. They are hunters by nature, let them ask you for the date.

2. Don’t look for “red flags” on the 1st date. Both parties are nervous and may not be acting like themselves.

3. Be POSITIVE! Negativity is not attractive.

4. All GREAT relationships start by making a friend.

5. It is okay to ask questions before your first date and to also let them know what you want in a future partner

6. Make sure you are equally yoked, both spiritually and mentally.

7. Don’t rush the relationship. The divorce rate with Christians is at 71%, largely due to couples running to the alter.

8. Be the REAL you. You can only “fake it” for a short time before you will be found out anyway.

9. Don’t “fall” in love, “grow” in love. If you fall in love you may fall for anything.

10. Make sure you know what your “deal breakers” are and stick to them. Remember… you can’t change people so don’t date someone with that intention in mind.

It’s hard to believe that it’s almost spring. It feels like “love is in the air”. Over the years this has typically been the season for singles to meet their match. Be prepared by going into a covenant with God and asking him to bring you your mate. Be specific in your prayers as you make your requests known to God. Remember His promises to you and GET READY for His blessings to shower down upon you!

In His service,